Oscar Presenters, Performers Announced: Prepare For a Long Night

Oscar–now THAT’S entertainment! 

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is so darn happy they can now put on a real show without any Gloomy Gus striking writers hanging around the party being unglamorous and annoying. Look, they’ve already released a list of the presenters for the evening. Here’s who’ll you’ll see reading off those witty cue cards:

Alan Arkin, Jennifer Hudson, Helen Mirren, Forest Whitaker, Amy Adams, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, Josh Brolin, Steve Carell, George Clooney, Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus, Patrick Dempsey, Cameron Diaz, Colin Farrell, Harrison Ford, Jennifer Garner, Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway, Katherine Heigl, Jonah Hill, Dwayne Johnson, Nicole Kidman, James McAvoy, Queen Latifah, Seth Rogen, Martin Scorsese, Hilary Swank, John Travolta, Denzel Washington and Renee Zellweger.

The fun thing about Oscar presenters is to see who gets paired with who and what award they’re presenting. You know last year’s winners of big awards present this year’s winners, so hello and goodbye, have an early best supporting kind of night, Alan Arkin and Jennifer Hudson. And the big, classic stars get best picture–Ford, Hanks, Clooney, maybe even Scorsese. But after that it gets pretty random. Who else wants to see Steve Carell and Penelope Cruz banter together? Or how about tall Jennifer Garner and small Colin Farrell? Pregnant pair Alba and Kidman? Jonah Hill and Helen Mirren for the always fun wacky comic and stately British dame pairing? And my vote for I think the most random, no reason whatsoever pair is this: Dwayne Johnson and Hilary Swank. That would be the one that would have viewers racking their brains and googling to try to come up with some kind of connection.

Then there’s the matter of the award–should you feel insulted if you get best animated short? Do you wonder if you look old if you get the list of dead people? And maybe I’m just cruel and mean-spirited, but I’m kind of hoping Miley Cyrus gets to present Best Foreign Language Film. That’s always a fun one.

Oh, and then there’s the performers of the songs. Here’s what you have to look forward to:

Amy Adams will sing “Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted. “Also from “Enchanted” will be “That’s How You Know,” sung by Kristin Chenoweth and Marlon Saunders, and “So Close,” to be performed by Jon McLaughlin.

Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova will perform their nominated song, “Falling Slowly,” from the motion picture “Once,” and Jamia Simone Nash will perform “Raise It Up,” from “August Rush,” with the IMPACT Repertory Theatre of Harlem.

Okay, I know Kristin Chenoweth is Broadway’s darling, but I always find her voice a bit sharp and shrill. Who the heck is Jon McLaughlin? And I’m guessing that the “August Rush” song will be done as a huge, overblown, incredibly long, audience killing production number (note to self: clean kitchen while this one is done. No, wait, clean whole apartment. There will be time).

Gosh, I am so looking forward to this festive evening now. Aren’t you?