Dwayne Johnson Wants Your Teeth

Dwayne Johnson, tooth fan.  

You know, I think most people would find the idea of the Rock sneaking into their room at night and grabbing their pillow rather upsetting. Nevertheless, Dwayne Johnson continues his assault on the world of family friendly films with his signing onto The Tooth Fairy. Variety says, “Johnson will play an ordinary man who’s brought in to try to save the tooth fairy kingdom.”

Oh, goody.

Johnson’s been taking on the mantle of the big action hero guy in goofy family films that Schwarzenegger took up at one point in his career, too (Twins? Jingle All the Way? Kindergarten Cop? Anyone? Anyone?). It’s been a successful move; Game Plan made a lot of money last fall and Johnson is currently filming Race to Witch Mountain, which appears to be a horrifyingly unnecessary remake of the great ’70s kids’ movie Escape to Witch Mountain. With Tooth Fairy, he’ll complete a trifecta of movies that I’d rather poke nails in my eyes than watch. 

The Tooth Fairy is written by the longtime writing team of Lowell Ganz & Babaloo Mandel.  Incredibly for this slight fare, two other writers are credited as well, Joshua Sternin and Jeffrey Ventimilia. I don’t think I’ve liked any movie Ganz & Mandel have written, but I have to always show some serious respect to Ganz for writing several episodes of The Odd Couple, one of the most underrated series in the history of television. Michael Lembeck, who played Mackenzie Phillips’ husband on One Day at a Time, a show that cannot be underrated enough, will direct.