Let’s not go and lose our heads over this movie.
Okay, one of the folks over at UGO says he/she (sorry, it’s posted under the name unisex name jordan) saw Cloverfield and has posted a bunch of spoilers about it. I’m willing to believe the UGO-er because the details are very specific; the other alternative would be that Jordan made up this enormous web of lies just for the heck of it, in which case we are talking about a life too sad to contemplate. Anyway, I’ll post the info below the picture, so if you want to know about it, keep on reading. If not…bail out now!
Here you go, thanks again to UGO!
Q: What the hell does the monster look like? Is it a whale with feet?
A: It is not a whale with feet. But it is difficult to describe. I haven’t seen a monster quite like this before. That doesn’t mean that you don’t get a good look at him. You do. But even still. He kinda looks like a giant gray dinosaur with creepy backwards ostrich legs. But that’s not the scariest part. The legs are really meaty and almost look human-like. There are times when he looks like a biped and other times when he looks like a quadruped. He has a lizard-y face and he’s got sacs up by his temples when he breathes (I guess.) He also has some whippy tentacle arms that fly at you when you try to cross the Brooklyn Bridge.
Q: Is that the only monster in the movie?
A: No, the big monster drops these little buggy guys. They zip around like mini-versions of the bugs from Starship Troopers or like leggy facehuggers. They also make kinda silly squeaky noises – an audio reminder that this movie is PG-13 and not R.
Q: What happens when those little buggy guys bite you?
A: They must plant something in you, because you “get dizzy” and then you explode!
Q: Ahhhh! That’s insane!
A: Yeah.
Q: Let’s back up a bit. Is Cloverfield any good?
A: Sh*t yeah. This is a great time at the movies. It isn’t perfect (the acting is problematic) and there are some mixed signals with tone (if this is supposed to be so naturalistic, why all the corny jokes?) but for a thrill ride’s sake, it is top notch. See it in a theater, you need to be in a big dark room of people screaming and you need to hear those sound effects. Another reason to see it in a theater – you will get to see the Star Trek trailer. They didn’t show this at the press screening. So, in a way, I suck.
Q: Sound effects? Does he sound like Godzilla?
A: Kinda.
Q: Do you ever find out what the monster is?
A: Not really.
Q: Does it end all lame like The Sopranos or does it have a real ending?
A: A little of both. You never learn what happens (everything you see is “discovered tape”) in the larger world, but you learn what happens to the characters you’ve been following.
Q: What happens to the characters we’ve been following?
A: Everybody dies.
Q: Oy vey!
A: But they find love.
Q: Really? Who cares?
A: You gotta make your movie about something. Otherwise it is just a lot of running. As it is, it still is mostly running.
Q: How long into the movie until we see the monster?
A: About 15 – 20 minutes in is the first attack. Even though you don’t see the monster during this attack (well, you see him for a flash) this is actually the scariest part of the film. And will be the most controversial. There is some imagery taken directly from the photos taken in New York on Sept 11, 2001 and that kinda made me a little queasy. 15 – 20 minutes after that you get some quality shots of the monster. And then there are more sprinkled throughout. By the end, he’s right in your face.
Q: Why is the movie called Cloverfield?
A: No real reason. The “found tape” that we see is labeled “Cloverfield” by the Defense Department. The tape is discovered in the “area formerly known as Central Park” and all we see is the tape. The tape, as you probably know by now, is meant to be a recording for a friend’s going away party. The party is interrupted by an attacking monster. In a dang clever move it is disovered that the tape with the bulk of the action is recording over something that was taped a few weeks past. We see flashes of this whenever the camera is knocked around too much or the shooter (a dude named Hud who is kind’ve a putz) stops filming for a minute. It is a cheap ploy, but it works.
Q: What else? Tell me tell me tell me!
A: Some awesome stuff right at the end. The monster is tearing up the area around Grand Central. We get in a helicopter. A stealth bomber starts blowing the hell out of the monster. We think we’ve won, but then the monster jumps up and smacks the helicopter. Everyone in the theater jumps. Then we crash in Central Park.
Q: Will sticklers about New York City geography be frustrated?
A: Actually, they do a pretty good job. Better than most movies. But anyone who has been at the 6 stop on Spring Street (or the entry into Bloomingdale’s from the 59th St station) will be a little vexed. Nothing takes me out of a movie faster than that.
Q: What other movie is this most like?
A: A little Poseidon Adventure, but with a monster. Although a fairly esoteric 80s flick Miracle Mile kept coming to mind. Ticking clock, searching for your lost love, no escape. Miracle Mile is a better movie. But Cloverfield has a kick-ass monster and many awesome sequences.
Q: Is the party scene an accurate depiction of young, upwardly mobile hipsters in New York.
A: Yeah, I hate to say it, but yeah.
Q: How come the only African-American men you see in this movie are looting an electronics store?
A: I dunno, but I was pretty flabbergasted by that and I hope someone calls the filmmakers out on it.
Q: What does Slusho have to do with the movie?
A: Nothing. Some dude wears a Slusho T-Shirt. Then he gets killed by a monster.
Q: Does it leave room for a sequel.
A: Hells yes. And I’ll be stunned if there isn’t one – a straight to DVD at least. So many unanswered questions. And all it takes is one of those little buggy guys to run across the George Washington Bridge into Jersey to come after YOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!
I fear that this movie is getting so much internet hype that it will succeed in the box office, despite being mediocre at best
See it first and then comment you jack ass!
They left the movie wide open for a sequel, which was good. You do hear in the end through the static (which no one else could apperently understand ) but I did thankfully. After the A-Bomb goes off, you can hear them say “target is mobile, he’s still alive” then at the end of the credits you hear very vaguely through the static ” it’s another one, repeat, now two targets”
There was a slightly related story with “slusho” that something about them getting an ingredient from the deep sea for their ingredient in their drinks, and the company that the main character was leaving for japan to work for was slusho. Weird connection, somehow I don’t know. Cloverfield is rumored to be a possible scientific experiment, and slusho to be a sort of “Umbrella Corporation” like from resident evil. Who knows for sure, but it would be a cool twist.
I loved this movie and i really hope they continue this. I have no idea why they wouldn’t, everyone in Hollywood wants money anyway.
Ok i hated the ending that was the worst part of it but if they make a sequel that would not matter. There are so many unanswered questions about this movie for one how did the monster get there, and 2 what happens after you exploded from the bite that the spiders do? And at the end of the you can hear HELP US, then if you rewind it backwards you hear ITS STILL ALIVE so there is a great possibly for a sequel, and at the end what happened to the black girl that got into the helicopter is she still alive, and when they show that part with Rob and that 1 girl riding the fairest wheel in the back round you see an egg or a sallite falling from the sky who knows if anybody can answer my questions email me at moehusien@yahoo.com!
okay in one of the questions they ask if everyone dies… but what you didnt realize is that when they were getting on the helicopters the lilly girl was on a sepret helicopter… and yes the ending did suck but if you think about it … if one person is still alive and made it out on the helicopter and the ending sucked maybe there will be a second one. Just puting down my thoughts….
A lot of the answers are completely and utterly wrong.
That thing that came down on the bridge was HER tail.
The things that drop off of Clover’s body are parasites. Usually, when parasites attach they can give disease, yes? Certainly our bodies wouldn’t be able to handle whatever they give us, thus, we explode.