Sarah Jessica Parker is One Ugly Bi-atch

Sarah Jessica Parker

Poor Matthew Broderick. Imagine having to deal with the mood swings of a wife who’s been said to look like a “foot” and a “horse”. Now, add Maxim Magazine’s smack down that she’s just plain “Unsexy” and watch out! That Ferris Bueller-playin’ mo-fo is going to wish he had a whole lotta days off.

Sad, but true, Sarah Jessica Parker has been named Maxim’s Most Unsexy Woman. What an honor. And they’ve made the announcement in such a gentle way. Here, see for yourself:

“How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with ’sex’ in the title?”

Ouch.

But SJP wasn’t the only one that made the list. The top five was rounded out with:

#2 – Ms. Rehab herself, Amy Winehouse, for her pasty skin and bat-lookin’ lashes.

#3 – Grey’s Anatomy’s Sandra Oh, for her skinny ass and crappy beside manner.

#4 – The once uber-sexy Material Girl, Madonna, who has evidently succumbed to post-martimonial nastiness.

#5 – (Big Shocker Alert): Britney Spears, for her two useless exes, and 23-lbs worth of Funyon Pudge.

Kind of makes you glad you’re not a Hollywooder now, doesn’t it? Suddenly, looking in the mirror doesn’t seem so bad.

34 Comments

  1. Man

    SJP…her face is the ugliest in the biz. I wouldn’t have hit that at 20 let alone 43. She should give up the crappy sit coms and realise that apart from looking like a horse as far as acting ability she is mediocrity incarnate.

  2. MAN_LIVING_IN_L.A.

    I have noticed that most of the “beautiful” comments are left by women, and most of the “ugly” comments are left by men, and virtually nothing in between. These “Sex In The City” fanatics have to wake up and face (no pun intended) that the woman SJP that they adore is not very attractive to most men. To most men outer beauty will trump inner beauty any day, that is just how we are designed biologically. Most men don’t really care if an actress is a good person on the inside; we just want her to be hot, besides do any of these women that defend her character really know SJP personally? I think not… she is an actress remember she can ACT sweet and good natured. I think these SJP fanatics may want to find another “beautiful” role model, hey why not Angelina Jolie gals, just a suggestion

  3. Jason

    Angelina jolie?? are you serious the woman has to be one of the most unattractive women out there i mean compare Jennifer aniston to her, now she is a beautiful women there’s nothing about her that isnt almost perfect Brad pit was a fool to leave her and as for SJP i agree completely with all the comments about her being unattractive but by the sounds of the first comment just because shes ugly she should no longer work as an actress. Alot of the men that have said they find her repulsive are hardly able to judge anyone let alone a celeb super star im not defending her in anyway as theres nothing on the planet i hate more than Sex and the city i just think people need to look in the mirror before they judge even though shes ugly to most shes still rich as hell.

  4. Mark Binkley

    I don’t think SJP is ugly. I think the problem is that she’s “grouped in” with ladies who are broadly appealing. Example: she does hair-color & make-up commercials, as does Halle Berry, who to A LOT of people, a drop-dead gorgeous woman.

    I think SJP is average looking….not ugly. I bet she’s better looking than a lot of non-celebrity’s males wives. The average Joe.

    Another thing. Everyone thinks Jennifer Aniston is so beautiful. Two of my children…not one…but both, have always gotten SJP & Jennifer Aniston mixed up. Funny how children see it different. Hmmm, maybe it’s their chins.

  5. Thanatopsis

    “That Ferris Bueller-playin’ mo-fo is going to wish he had a whole lotta days off.”

    ??? Wouldn’t he want to not have the day off so he’s not home with that hideous thing?

  6. Sara

    I find SJP seriously repulsive. She may be have a lot of money but she is still hideous. There are many people out there who unfortunately dont comprehend true beauty. Just because someone has the ability to make money does not make them beautiful. Every woman knows how beautiful she is and as for her, she can say to the world that she doesnt care how she looks but the woman must scare herself and her husband in the morning w no make up. As for talent, Ive seen my dog do better acting.

  7. mig

    The Hollywood main agenda is to brainwash us. This is just another attempt to brainwash us into thinking the ugly is pretty and sexy.

  8. nunya

    Well, I’m a woman, and I think SJP is butt ugly. Hideous. I have never understood how she gets on commercials advertising certain hair and skin products. If those products make you look like her, remind me never to use them.
    I never liked or watched Sex in the City, so I can’t say anything about her acting, but I think if someone’s a good actor, looks shouldn’t be all that matters. Just don’t try to act like they are supposed to be hot or something, when anyone with eyes can see they are ugly!

  9. Carlo

    why did it took so long for you guys to figure it out??

    I don’t understand she’s almost finishing her carrer and the webs are flooded with this stuff .

  10. youaintgonoalibiyouugly

    SJP is not attractive. If I were a man I wouldn’t touch her with a 50 foot pole. The best thing about her is her eyes. Unfortunately, the long head, coupled with that unfortunate nose, and scraggly brows, plus no discernible womanly shape make her wholly unappealing. I can see why men are like NAH!

    Hollywood is trying to brainwash you into her being pretty. I think it’s the whole blond/blue eyed/skinny as a toothpick ideal. On the subject of ugly celebrities let’s add Fergie (Why Josh, why?), Windy Williams (ick), Helen Hunt (OMG.) and Renee Zelleweger. These are some ugly mo-fos.

  11. L

    What a bunch of pathetic low lives.
    People who usually trash someone for the way they look are usually less than appealing themselves.
    What a sad bunch of cowards you all are.

  12. L N

    What a bunch of pathetic low lives.

    People who usually trash someone for the way they look are usually less than appealing themselves.

    What a sad bunch of cowards you all are.

  13. Kohen

    Yea damn i thought i was the only one who thought she has a horse head. Shes on all these commercials cos shes jewish. Dont mean to be racist or anti-semetic but hell, all media corporations are run by jews

  14. M

    Men who judge a women’s value or total beauty on their looks are often couch potatoes, men who burp, itch their balls, fart then ask you for sex, men who think women want muscles, men who think fake boobs on p@rnos are the real thing, or men who think women everywhere are in love with their shallow good-looks, also men who like plastic dolls.

    She not be a stunnng beauty, (and beauty is only determined by the culture you live in- if you cannot appreciate different forms of beauty outsaide that goldfish bowl you are really a sheep -) but I saw her in Who Do You Think You Are? and found her rather beautiful in her elegance.

  15. martin

    Denial is an ugly thing. Sex and the city…Should have been named three women and a cart puller. Mathew probably has to throw a nose bag on her at meal times. I shouldnt be so cruel, sorry all you sjp fans….well actually i am not sorry…ha, sjp, seriously just pants

  16. Jon

    She is a HORSE!

  17. makin

    Women love her because they’re not threatened by her…I mean what woman in her right mind would be threatened by a skinny donkey witch like her?

    Matthew probably has lost his contact lenses and sees something different to what men see when she gives that horror move smile in media pictures. Poor thing…

  18. Anonymous

    Y’all are just jealous cause Sarah Jessica Parker is successful and one of the top highest paid actresses in Hollywood! She has a great personality and a wonderful sense of humor. I consider her to be very attractive, and I’m a guy. She takes everything in stride, and she’s always kind and benevolent, especially when Maxim rated her as #1 most unsexy women in Hollywood. She said in response that even if she woke up fat the next day, she’s be happy, and that it’s all right they don’t think she’s sexy, cause she doesn’t think she’s sexy either. All you people who comment bad on her, especially (Man from LA) need to go back to school and learn what the word RESPECT means. She’s in a different league than you cause she’s a successful actress, and y’all probably work at Dairy Queen!

  19. Mac

    She’s a successful actress because she has connections. Yes she does radiate confidence, but only because the media portrays her flatteringly – because of said connections in the business. The term ‘transvestite donkey witch’ summarises her rather well. You know it’s interesting – the people who think she is kind or whatever, how do you know exactly? She uses those mofo looks of hers to say “but I’m a nice person”, in other words, people are shallow sometimes and judge it like this: “oh well she’s ugly so she must be a really great person”. lol

  20. Enriko

    I searched for a place in Google to express how pissed off I am that this woman is labeled as some particularly beautiful entity. I think she’s very ugly and obviously there are 2,5 billion females I’d rather hang out with.

  21. lara

    What a bunch of nasty excuses for human beings! she’s an actress, not a model. If you want to see someone who’s truly ugly you should take a look in the mirror (and get a life).

  22. Samantha

    In my view. she is disgustingly fake..she’s got boobs transplant for sex and the city 2…and her face…I bet she’s got more injection more than a sick patient… I dont mean to judge..is plastic surgery what defines a woman beauty…Apprently it is for sjp…

  23. ROBIN DAHL LEKNES

    I really think that Barbra Streisand SHOULD be mentioned at this list, goddamn, that’s one ugly skank. One would believe she is in the title of the song Barbra Streisand by Duck Sauce because of here huge nose.

  24. Mark

    Yes Barbra Streisand is TV ugly…but Sarah Jessica Parker is just plain UGLY UGLY!

    She looks like a donkey in makeup.

  25. Jo

    She doesnt look like a donkey what an insult to donkeys! she looks like a foot with warts and bunions

  26. Ally

    Oh go f*** yourselves. She has a wonderful figure but an above average length nose. It doesn’t make her ugly, but it does make all of you pathetic losers.

  27. Jesse

    I’m not gonna argue with anyone… and i personally don’t find her particularly attractive, but you people are just cruel.. fair enough that opinions are welcomed, but I can’t understand why some people have to be so ruthless.? im pretty sure “shes not hot” would’ve sufficed.. yes? there’s no need to single out individual flaws… i’m pretty sure you’s wouldn’t appreciate being picked at like you’ve just done!!

    WHAT A BUNCH OF CRUEL CUNTS!!

  28. Jesse

    oh and on another point.. why are all these “straight guys” commenting on a celeb gossip site??… closeted perhaps boys? like it in the bum?? HA.. thought so! :/

  29. claudette dalton

    I think american women are ugly inside an out, just like our ugly macho shit head australian men, they should all hook up and live nastylly ever after.

  30. giovanni

    Funny how some women here defend her outside looks by saying: “You are all so stupid, she’s so beautiful on the inside”! Are you kidding me? Nobody here knows her personally. So how is she beautiful on the inside? And faces are formed by character and how people feel. You can see on the outside that JSP has very little female qualities, there’s almost nothing female about her. She looks like a man because in the inside she doesn’t have that lovely female sweetness that beautiful women have.

    Straight men can really tell how beautiful a woman really is. Beautiful women have that confidence in being female. That sweetness and almost a form of shyness. Just because you women here like selfish, needy, wanna-be-men Sex In The City types of women doesn’t mean they are beautiful on the outside (AND on the inside). Most men don’t like those types of women. Maybe gay men would. Straight men fall for real female attraction, not some wanna-be-men types who whine all day how difficult men are, WHILE BEING UGLY ON TOP OF IT. lol

  31. Walter

    What a joke! How does a thoroughly unattractive skank like Sarah Jessica Parker get presented to the public as sexually attractive? She along with her fellow skank the redhead with bad teeth are a fucking joke! This is an example of how assholes in the entertainment industry promote their ugly relatives! What a crock of shit! I’ll be sure to watch their ads so I can make a point to NOT buy anything associated with their ugly asses.

  32. Beebee

    I don’t think she is “UGLY” but I feel that her makeup which can be very EXTREME makes her look really old. As we age women feel the need to pile on more makeup which adds to the severity of her look which ages her look, her skin, and her appearance. The last “Sex in the City 2″ I thought really showed her age and her makeup was way over the top too MUCH!! She needs to realize it doesnt help her look any younger. I think she is a great dresser and her hair always looks fabulous. Maybe she should find someone else to do her makeup age appropriately.

  33. stef

    I entirely agree with Kohen’s comment above. Nothing more needs be said.

  34. Vince

    We have to remember who this uggo SJP is marketed at. Namely women. Who watches Sex and the City? Women! She is the queen of women that other women like to say is attractive. And you won’t find to many guys that agree with that. But its a fantasy marketed at women. I mean, look at Sex and the City. I’ve only seen it a few times (gun to my head girlfriend) but it is totally unrealistic. Men fight over her. Men want to get with her. Men compete for her. Puhleez! That woman has a big nose, a brow you could use to break glass, and a jaw line that would do a race horse proud!

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