Paris Hilton Hangs with Drunken Elephants

Move over Angelina Jolie. Here comes the new and improved Hollywood Humanitarian of the Year, Paris Hilton.

The bad-girl-no-more (pffft!) has chosen the plight of drunken elephants as her new lot in life…right behind judging beauty contests, that is.

Evidently, there is a big problem with sauced-up pachyderms in northeast India becoming enraged, running amok, and raising all kinds of hell. Guess elephants don’t make for very good drunks, eh? Well Paris is throwing her miniscule weight around, trying to make it stop, pronto!

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” she said.

You wouldn’t know anything about alcohol availability, now would you Ms. Hilton? But, we digress.

The alcohol is actually homemade rice beer that the ‘phants are ganking from area farmers. Huh. Who knew?

Thanks, Paris, for your new-found depth. Where would this shallow world be without you? Really.

Source: Associated Press