Jessica Simpson was hoping to have a more stable life by the time her thirtieth birthday rolled around, but things aren’t seeming to end up that way.

A family friend said, “Jessica is in the grips of a life crisis right now. She does a great job of publicly hiding the pain, but in private she is an emotional mess. She’s so lonely that she frequently sleeps at her folks’ Encino home. Nights are the worst. Sometimes she calls her mom into the guest bedroom and asks Tine to hold her while she falls asleep. She is beating herself up over poor career choices, and feels as if she didn’t give her best effort to her two-year relationship with Tony Romo or her marriage to Nick Lachey.”

Don’t beat yourself up too much, Jess, Nick was NO catch and Tony Romo is no gentleman for ditching you at an IHOP. Friends report that Jessica is drowning her sorrows in a bottle. The source added, “Her family has been keeping a close eye on her alcohol consumption. Jess sometimes goes overboard and then gets very emotional. They want to be there to nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem.”

The friend added, “Jess hopes she would have a husband, baby and flourishing acting career by the time she turned 30… Instead, she feels like her best days are behind her.”

Stay positive, you’ll find someone better suited to you. He may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but he’ll match your hue…I promise. Maybe she should hook up with Adrian Grenier….I hear he’s not at all particular.

If you haven’t heard, Britney Spears brought the Circus to Perth, Australia, last night. She was already publicly scrutinized for lip-syncing, and now, concertgoers have left the show, disappointed, after only several songs.

The fans at the show called it an appalling performance and began walking out, even though they paid $1,500.00 to see her perform.

One concertgoer said, “It was just really bad. She has not spoken, there is no interaction.” Another said, “We are really big Britney fans, but it was crap. I thought after the music awards she would make up for it with a wicked concert, but she has let us down.”

Another concertgoer said, “She is a little dot on the stage” and others also complained that the big screens didn’t show the performance, but only Circus images. They also complained that she had her back to the fans during the entire show.

Maybe she’s just getting warmed up? They should’ve known about the lip-syncing and you know up-front when you get nosebleed seats. Maybe it’s refund time?

Jennifer Lopez has a sex tape that’s about to hit the internet with ex-husband Ojani Noa. He’d probably peddling the tape as we speak, until she buys him off with some uber-expensive grooming kit.

The last we saw of this guy he was stuck in the eighties with his hair style and chin fuzz.

Rumor has it that this sex tape shows her getting spanked by him, after running around in only a bra and panties. She’s such a bad girl! She was also taped mounting a bike wearing a short dress without undies.

Someone was crotch flashing before it was popular!

This interview is so scary and sad that I feel for Rihanna so much. I hope that she can heal and get through the pain that she’s gone through, continuing to relive the frightening night in which Chris Brown brutally beat her.

She recalls, “I fended him off with my feet from one … side of the car, but … it was not like, it was not like a fight with each other. I just … I really just wanted it to stop…I was bleeding. I was swollen in my face. So there was no way of me getting home, except for, my next option was to get out of the car and walk. Start walking in a gown, in a bloody face. So I really don’t know what my plan was. I didn’t have a plan. That whole night was not part of my plan.”

She said that she was already battered by the time the cops arrived, but she would only tell them that a lie caused the fight. She said, “I caught him in a lie. And he wouldn’t tell the truth … I was being more annoyed at that point in our relationship he had to lie about something so stupid, I couldn’t take that he kept lying to me. And he couldn’t take that I wouldn’t drop it. And … it was ugly.”

After going back to him once, she realized that she couldn’t go on like that anymore. She said, “I just said to him, ‘I can’t do this.’ I resented him. I resented him so much. And I always put the tough face on and try to, I can do anything face, and just try to play it off. But he knew. He knew it. He kept asking me, ‘You hate me, don’t you? You hate me,’” she told Sawyer. “And I would lie and I would say, ‘No, no. And … I did hate him. … Everything about him annoyed me. So finally … I just said, we can’t … we can’t do this. I cannot continue to do this.”

She went on to reveal that this is something that she will never forget, concluding with, “The thing that men don’t realize, when they hit a woman, it’s… the face, the broken arm, the black eye, it’s going to heal. That’s not … the problem. It’s the scar inside. You flashback. You … you remember it all the time. It comes back to you whether you like it or not. And it’s painful. So I don’t think he understood that. They never do.”

I hope the healing process has already started for her and that it helped her to get it out. Never forget! I’ll never respect Chris as an artist or as a person, ever again. What a douche.

Seriously, Suri Cruise is walking around at three-years-old still sucking on a bottle! What is going on here?

Now I realize that some parents like their children to give up the bottle when the time is right for them, but come on, she’s three!

On Wednesday, Katie Holmes was spotted bottle feeding Suri on the set of her new movie. Pediatricians who aren’t treating Suri say that she should’ve been weaned from the bottle just over one-year-old.

They also say that maybe it’s out of comfort that Suri seeks the bottle, but that Tom and Katie should transition her to something else, such as a teddy bear.

I think it’s lazy parenting, but being celebrities, I’m going to say that they’re just giving her whatever she wants. She’s probably used to that anyways.

Carrie Prejean was suing the Miss California USA Pageant for “religious discrimination, defamation, public disclosure of private facts, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.”

They, inturn, returned the favor by suing her over her breast implants, which they paid for.

Now, the suit has seen an untimely ending. After pageant officials got ahold of an amateur sex tape that Carrie made, she dropped the charges against them. Isn’t that blackmail?

According to TMZ, it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to hear the sex tape news before she called off the dogs against the pageant. They have agreed to fork over $100,000 for her attorney’s fees and publicist, but she’ll see nada from the suit.

Wow that didn’t take long at all!

According to sources, Eddie Cibrian is already cheating on homewrecker LeAnn Rimes. I guess leopards really don’t change their spots, do they?

He cheated on his wife, Brandi Glanville with Scheana Marie Jancan, and he’s apparently already went back to her, even though he’s dating LeAnn.

An insider said, “Eddie has recently started seeing Scheana again. He told her he’s only with LeAnn for the publicity and that he plans to end things with her soon. He has a friend drop him off at Scheana’s apartment, where he’ll usually spend about two hours. Then a friend picks him up. He never spends the night at Scheana’s because he’s afraid LeAnn will catch on. But he’s made it clear to Scheana that he wants to continue seeing her.”

Are we really surprised by this??? What a dog. But, hey, what goes around comes around, right?

I can’t believe that someone else has gotten themselves tangled into the Kevin Federline web. First it was Shar Jackson, then he left her while pregnant to hook up with meal ticket Britney Spears, and now his current girlfriend, Victoria Prince, is said to be pregnant.

Gross, gross, and more gross.

He’s on his way to racking up more kids than Mel Gibson if he keeps this up.

A source said, “The test was positive. She told Kevin that she was pregnant, but he didn’t seem happy to hear the news.”

Kevin should know better than to knock up someone who’s net worth doesn’t match Britney’s. And why is it the tool keeps procreating? Four kids weren’t enough that you had to spread your seed even further???

Chris Brown is desperately trying to one-up Rihanna, and guess what pal, it’s just not going to happen. Rihanna is basically giving her tell-all to 20/20 this Friday, and coincidentally, Chris is also scheduled to sit down with MTV, the same day.

Talk about trying to steal someone’s thunder!

In a snippet from his interview, he says, “(My fans) love me and support me. (But the public) don’t want to see me do anything… they wanna see me kind of, basically in jail.”

He totally has us figured out. This fool deserves to be in jail. Him not serving any time over this incident just says that celebrities can get away with just about anything. If your star is brightly lit, then you can beat up your girlfriend almost to the point where she’s unrecognizable. Such a douche. He fails at life.

Even though I think that they would make the cutest couple ever, Demi Lovato has officially denied rumors that she’s dating Joe Jonas.

And why would she deny it if it weren’t true? The boy is hot, seemingly nice, and rich, what’s not to love?

Apparently a celebrity gossip site put out the rumors that the two Disney stars were dating. The source claimed that he got the information straight from Demi’s mother.

Demi denied the rumors and tweeted this:

There’s been a lot of rumors lately that I’m dating one of my best friends Joe. I can promise my entire career that I am not.

We’ve NEVER dated. He’s incredible, but we don’t have feelings for eachother in that way. I love you guys, and I wouldn’t lie about that.

It’s ufortunate that some people out there are so desperate for attention that they have to make up gossip to keep their site alive.

But that’s how this whole city works I guess. It just makes me sad that people are that mean in this world.

I think if I were dating Joe, I surely wouldn’t be denying it. That is, unless the Disney machine prefers it that way.